My 2021 Reflections

Happy New Year!

2021 was a year filled with challenges. It was also filled with beautiful miracles. May we all learn to trust the Father in everything and find joy wherever He is.

My First Thoughts of the New Year

First off, thank you, LORD. Without you, how would 2021 have gone for me? I don’t even want to think about it.

Second, my goodness, 2022?? I thought we’d surely be floating in space suits by now. Thankfully we are not. I am not very fond of heights.

Third, I am grateful for this platform to share my thoughts, stories, and persuasions. I am also excited about the new friends that I’ve connected with through this blog site. Lots of good things to reflect on.

Writing for this Blog Site Came with Lots of Challenges in 2021

As I have taken time to explore, organize, and share my thoughts on this blog, I have been challenged. In many ways.  For each post I wrote, I’ve had to confront my fears about being on a public platform. What if someone I know and love reads one (or several) of my posts and decides to stop loving me? What if I am misunderstood? What if I offend someone? What if offer a view that is not “black enough” and someone tries to take my black card? Not my black card!!!! My brain is constantly calculating the what ifs. On top of that, I’ve had many confrontations with myself over my own hypocrisies, prejudices, and pride. I have felt lost and have had to pause until I felt the comfort of the Father’s guidance. I would say the most daunting of all challenges has been the push to walk circumspectly while tackling topics I may not have been ready to confront in my own character.  Ugh!

These challenges have been the most unexpected surprise I’ve dealt with while writing for this blog. Sometimes, during 2021, I was so overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or a lack of hope that I could not write anything. Most times I questioned whether or not this was a short-season gig or if it was meant to last. I don’t know, nor do I really need to, I guess. The thing that kept me coming back was the knowledge (or at least a small spark of hope) that at least one other person might be on this journey with me. I imagined that that friend was also in a wrestling match at the intersection of faith and race. I imagined that they too had utilized prayer, Bible study, and interactions with others to delve into racial discomforts with the hope that they could somehow be part of the healing.

What I Learned from Black and White and Shades of Green in 2021

The more that I read, learned, and wrote, the more certain I became about one thing: never be too certain. Certainty is a period. It’s not a comma, not a colon, nor a question mark. Certainty says, “Additional learning, not welcomed.” PERIOD.

Periods typically don’t solve relational issues. Periods are most appropriate for science, math, and grammar. But for explaining human relationships? Almost never. Race, racism, hatred, and oppression, all wear many outfits.  Not just the “obvious” ones. As believers, we must continually search our hearts and minds to identify that which is bent on division or selfish pride. There cannot be too many periods in such a search as pride is the king of the period.  

Another lesson that kept coming back to me was this: Our light will never shine brightly enough to impact our society if we resist humility. The humility is in admitting, “I don’t know everything”. I don’t know everything about:

• the racial issues in our country
• “white people” and why they do what they do
• “black people” and why they do things they do
• “Latinos, Asian Americans, or Indigenous people” experience our society
• the impact or reality of systemic injustices
• all the reasons why our country can lead in everything else but racial healing and equity

There are few things that I know so much about that I can be so bold or confident to resist hearing and trying to understand another’s perspective. This includes those I vehemently disagree with or have little respect for. Therefore, the conclusion of all this for me has been:  I will work hard to humbly listen and apply the gospel to myself before responding or forming a hard position on most things.

This is Why I Want to Keep Writing

Coming back to this blog, again and again, is almost like opening a can of worms. I ask myself: “If you don’t like worms and you know the can is filled with worms, why would you open it??” But then I answer: “But if you also know that there are some gold nuggets and maybe even some diamond chunks mixed up in there, why would you not?” So perhaps 2021, for me, was about worms and diamonds.

As a black woman, I have seen oppression from many angles. I could literally start a separate blog site on all the ways in which black women have historically and presently been overlooked, disrespected, dismissed, oppressed, and ignored. If there is anyone in this society who can point fingers at our society, I’d say it would be black women. From hair and name discrimination to healthcare disparities to maternal health outcomes to ridiculously low career ceilings to domestic violence to persistent unflattering media portrayals to legal inequities to lowest paid in the workplace, you name it; we can check the box for most poorly treated. And all of this is before adding any other potential “minuses” such as econonmic status, educational levels, or other power imbalances. If you don’t believe me, please research these topics for yourself. Sadly, this is not even an exhaustive list. But outside of a Bewitched episode, pointy fingers don’t change anything. I don’t write to point fingers. I’m not here to blame or make anyone feel guilty. I’m not interested in that. Besides, people’s attention can be held by pain and woe for only so long. It is important to be aware and to push for righteousness and justice in every area of society. My goal is to do so with tactics that encourage action and changed hearts.

One of the “worm-can” diamonds has repeatedly shone a light on this truth: “Every time I point a finger, there are three more pointing back at me.” When I listen to voices in the public square authoritatively declaring their positions with no humility, it lets me know that that theirs is a voice to be wary of.  When speaking of people and people groups, it is always wise to be more cautious than sure. And more importantly, always look at oneself first to see if you are already living up to the standards you want to hold others to. And then after that, grace and mercy, must be applied. Therefore, I’ve concluded that it is best for me to stay in this space: 

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…”

Hebrews 10:24

So I will keep opening the worm cans with the anticipation that something of great value will be found. If that’s where the gold nuggets and diamond chunks are, then so be it.

Again, Happy New Year! May your 2022 be filled with nuggets and chunks (the good, valuable kind).