The Legacy of One Black Man

Ever since I’ve been out on my own, Sunday afternoons after church have included nap time. My week is not right if I don’t get my Sunday nap. No one calls me and I call no one on Sunday afternoons. I don’t meet for lunch, go to MLM sales parties or afternoon tea. I go to sleep. You get the gist, don’t call me on Sunday afternoon.

Well, guess what happened last Sunday afternoon?

You are correct. Someone called me. In the middle of my nap. It was one of my aunts.

When Auntie Calls, I Answer

When I answered my aunt’s call, she immediately began yelling at me. You have to know her to understand this. 98% of her communication style is on “10”. If it is not, then it will be in less than 10 seconds. She is what you might call, eh, hmm…very expressive. With that being said, let’s just call her Aunt Ten-Ten for this post.

Very important note: Despite this yelling addiction, Aunt Ten-Ten is one of the most beloved people in our family. She is also one of the sweetest, most giving women that I know. This is why I am always happy to answer her calls. I love hearing her very loud voice. It is the song you never knew your soul needed to hear. Now back to our story…….

Here’s how the first part of the conversation went:

Aunt Ten-Ten (yelling): DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?!?!?!?!

Me (half asleep and confused): Yes, it’s Sunday

Me: (silence followed by confusion)

Me: (more silence and still confused)

Me: December 5^th. Granddaddy’s birthday?

Aunt Ten-Ten (yelling again): AND WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?!?!?!?!

Me : (silence…. infinitely confused)

I’ll skip the rest of the details and get into it. Apparently, Aunt Ten-Ten called because she wanted some sort of public acknowledgment of my grandfather’s 108^th birthday. She assigned me to the task, I graciously complied. Albeit, a few days late but still happy to do so. My granddaddy is in heaven now and has been for the last 20 years. We still love him and want to remember him for his leadership in our family. It is still impacting us.

Granddaddy’s Legacy

My granddaddy, James Earl McNair, was given the head of family responsibilities from age 11 or so. This came about as a consequence of his 30-year-old mother’s passing. She was survived by her husband and their four children, ages 3-11. My granddaddy dropped out of school after 7^th grade to help his dad work the farm, care for his siblings and take care of the house. By the time his youngest sibling had reached 18 years old, granddaddy had met and married my beautiful grandmother, Ethel Lee Belcher. Together, they brought 14 wonderful children into the world (including my daddy).

Granddaddy always stressed to his children and grandchildren the importance of “getting an education”. He truly believed that education was critical to uplift for black people in America. He was a supporter of Dr. Martin Luther King’s philosophy and made sure that his children participated in integrating the local school system back in the sixties. He also supported the efforts of the local NAACP as he worked hard to keep the family farm that had been purchased and owned by his father and grandfather. Granddaddy succeeded in leaving a legacy of land ownership and self-determination to his descendants.

Granddaddy and Me

What I love about my granddaddy is that all his children, grandchildren, and some great-grands have our special stories about him and the way he impacted us personally. Here are some of mine.

When I was growing up, my grandfather was strict and had little tolerance for foolishness or anything like it. I rarely saw him laugh or show a soft or gentle side. To me, he seemed to be severely serious about EVERYTHING. My cousin K, who lived with him, had a completely different experience with him. Perhaps she was his favorite, who knows? I wouldn’t care though because his love for all of us was very evident. Besides, I would guess that if you are responsible for a huge family, there wouldn’t be much time for foolishness or idleness. Lucky for me, he was a hardworking man. From sun up to sun down (and beyond) he was out on the farm and not at the house. My grandmother was much more laid back and was a perfect balance for him.

The earliest memory of my granddaddy not being serious with us kids happened when I was a teenager. My cousin K and I were at the “old house” with him, doing some kind of work. Probably gathering tobacco sticks or something. When we weren’t looking, granddaddy spotted a dead, dried-up field mouse. He grabbed it and tossed it at us! We screamed and almost dislocated our limbs trying to avoid that thing flying through the air at us. We all had a laugh and returned to work shortly after. I remember thinking, “I didn’t know granddaddy could be fun!”

The longer granddaddy lived, the more he began to relax in his lifestyle and temperament. I got to experience more of his personality and learned that he was actually a pretty cool guy. He would even dance in family soul train line once a year, on Christmas morning.

When my granddaddy found out I was building my first home, as a single woman in my twenties, he let me know that he was happy for me. I had been keeping him and my dad in the loop of the building process on my trips back home. One afternoon as I was leaving his house, he walked me out and stood on the porch to see me off. As I approached my car, he called my name. I looked up and he paused before speaking. That’s when I realized that he was so choked up, he couldn’t get the words out.

Me: (very concerned) “Granddaddy, are you OK???”,

Grandaddy: “I……..I’m proud of you.”

Wow. I cannot tell you what happened to my heart in that moment. To hear him say that he was proud of me and to see it spilling out of him in the form of tears totally left me speechless.

Life Lessons from Granddaddy

Deacon James Earl McNair was truly a great man. Here are some of the things I learned from him. Some are direct quotes, others are lessons I learned from the way he lived his life.

• I am worthy to be paid fairly for my labor.
• All workers are to be respected.
• Regarding dating: Do not let a man pay for anything for me. That way he nor I will feel that I owe him anything.
• Everybody has to work hard. Even when tasks are divided up by gender, everyone works and everyone works hard.
• Anything you see that is beautiful, someone worked hard to create it and someone has to work to maintain.
• Get all the education you can. No one can ever take it from you.
• A husband and wife can achieve great things if they work together.
• Eat and “hursh”.
• Christians must love one another, no matter how they might feel about one another.
• Quote: I can’t help what you do to me, but I can help what I do to you. When I stand before God, that is what I will have to give an account for.
• Hymns from The New National Baptist Hymnal.
• Humility and powerful prayer go hand in hand.
• I will trust in the Lord until I die.

That last one is the legacy I most strongly identify with my granddaddy. Throughout his life, he called on the Lord for wisdom, provision, protection, and strength. In his last days, I remember being in his room when great pain would hit his body. He would call out, “Lord! Then he’d say, “You know….. You know….” This was his prayer as he’d clench his jaws and squeeze the bed rail until the pain subsided. My grandfather was always a very strong man. I knew that if this was his reaction, then he was enduring great pain. I was in his room, helpless and powerless to assist, yet praying silently with him. In those moments, I understood for sure, that his prayer was one of great faith. It clearly demonstrated his trust in the One who knew it all and was close even in the deepest valley. His five-word prayer contained so much power.

A Lasting Legacy

So, even though several of my cousins have already beaten me to it (days ago), this is my tribute to the hero of our family, Deacon James Earl McNair. I thank the Lord for sending my grandfather to impact this earth 108 years ago. I am also very grateful for all the unsung black fathers in

Lastly, the greatest and most profound legacy my grandfather left us is faith in Jesus Christ. The compass that guided his life, he faithfully left to each of us.

We love you, granddaddy.