Black Boys: Made in the Image God

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. These must be worth 10 million. There is something about being at the beach that helps me understand life as it should be. Being at the ocean, at the edge of continent, inspires me to manifest the perfection of God’s plan in my life and in the world around me.

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When I see these guys just enjoying life, and I realize how much I enjoy observing them, a thought pops into my mind: “What if every black boy in America were this much loved and celebrated”. By everyone. What if, from the time they could walk, until the turned into responsible men, everyone they met greeted them with joy and affirmation?

This is actually a new thought for me. I had never had this thought in my entire life until maybe six months ago. And I think a lot! Have you ever thought about how the trajectory of black men would be different IF in childhood they were loved, celebrated, encouraged, protected, and given the benefit of the doubt by all? Try not to let your brain break at the thought. Mine was really surprised when it came up, because I have never had the thought nor heard it discussed before. I wonder why?

Black Boys: Of a Very High Standard

A few weeks ago, I was at a small, public, outdoor, gathering. My daughter and I noticed a family close by. Their little 3ish year old daughter, for some reason, was trying to get our attention. She was playing by herself but kept moving closer and closer to where we were sitting. When we finally made eye contact with her, she just smiled. Ear to ear! Of course, we smiled right back at her. She was beautiful.

beau·ti·ful

/ˈbyo͞odəfəl/

of a very high standard; excellent.

Though the little girl had lovely, curly, blond hair and amazing, green, eyes this is not the beauty I am referring to. It was her essence that was beautiful. A little soul eager to embrace the joy and attention of the moment. It was almost as if she knew that she should be getting attention! In her soul, she seemed to know that she was of a very high standard and excellent. I would guess that she has gotten lots of adoring attention, just on cuteness alone.

Here’s something to really think about: What if every child were greeted, fawned over, and given princess/prince treatment by everyone they encountered? Do you think it would make a difference in how they developed? Do you think they would grow into confident, loving adults? I do. I also believe that black boys are also of a very high standard and excellent. They are beautiful too.

Made in God’s image. Worthy of adoring attention. Ripe for affirmation.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. Psalms 139:14 NKJV

Black Boys: What Do You See?

What do you see? Or do you see black boys at all? The data is out there that highlights the disproportionate disciplinary consequences that black boys receive school (public and private) for lesser or similar offenses as other students. How is this happening? Maybe it has do with what one thinks automatically when they see black boys:

They are up to no good. They are undisciplined. They don’t follow directions. They don’t want to learn. They are unintelligent. They have no future. They are aggressive. They are intimidating.

And to be clear, such negative perspectives come from people of all races. Sometimes even, other black people. Insert heavily gritted teeth here (mine of course).

I do not endorse such negative characterizations.

The picture above says more to me than I could ever share with the world. The ocean seems to be the only force (so far) that understands him, embraces him and challenges him with the intensity he seeks in life. I remember my first few days with this guy. My heart was so full. It was full of joy and fear at the same time. I looked at his beautiful face and wondered how I could protect him from the world. The late, great, Nancy Wilson’s song, “If I Could”, has visited my mind on several occasions from then until now. If you see him at dusk riding his bike with an untamed afro, what would you think of him?

This guy here is the one who made me a MOB (Mom of Boys). If “Unbothered” was a person, it would be this guy. He does not seek to impress and does not care to be part of any crowd. Yet, he has many friends and is probably the most merciful, sincere, person I have ever met. He’s so practical; when he was in elementary school he went through a phase of sending parenting videos to me to help me out. I watched them! But if you see him walking down the street with his hoodie and basketball, what would you think of him? Mrs. Wilson’s song plays for him too.

What Then Shall We Say ?

I’d like to encourage you, the next time you see a black boy (small child or teen), take a chance. Show him unselfish love. Please be clear, I feel this way about all children, and I encourage this level of affirmation for all of them. But in this post, I’m specifically asking those of you, regardless of your race/ethnicity, to do this for a black boy/teen. Now, I’m not gonna lie, if you don’t like teenagers, this is a hard one! We all know how teenagers can be <no further comment>. But they still need our love, affirmation, and guidance, just in a different way. Or, if you don’t like small children, this is might be tough for you as well. Little ones might like you right back and give more attention then you care to entertain! It’s OK, see them and affirm them. Plus, you can do all things through Christ, right? That includes taking a chance to be nice to someone else’s son. The Lord can help you with some ways to do that:

• Smile at them
• Say “Hello”
• Ask about how school is going
• Give them a high-five, fist bump, Covid-shake or whatever
• Ask what project or hobby they are working on
• Include them in a special activity or event (with parent’s permission of course)
• Trust them or give them a responsibility
• Show patience when you see immaturity

As followers of Christ, we must always remember the love, kindness, and grace that God has show to us. As adults, we are the leaders and we lead by example. We can be the example of confidence, kindness, and strength that we want the kids around us to grow into. A big part of that is connecting with them in order to do so. Kids are like plants in that they can’t grow healthy and strong alone. They need help from the environment (the sun, the rain, the soil) and their tender(s). Our Father in heaven has set the example by loving us into Himself. We are equipped to do the same for others.

The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3

So, as we continue this journey toward unity and justice, let’s do our part to affirm the worth and value that God has already placed in His creation.

Black boys: we see you. we affirm you. we value you.