Philanthropy in Black Communities

While at the big box store, I stumbled across my Mom’s perfume in the lower left corner of the perfume shelf. Back in the eighties, this was one of her favorites. I decided to buy it. In all these years, I’d never thought about buying it or any other thing that reminded me of her. Don’t judge me. Or go right ahead as I won’t know. That is just how I’ve coped.

When I finally sprayed it, I waited for 22 ½ years of loss to over take me. It did not. Instead, as the aromas began to fill the tiny room, I felt joy. Instantly, memories of my family, the four of us, began to manifest themselves in my mind. A huge smile, joy and elation kept getting the best of me.

Her getting us dressed for church.

Her combing my hair.

Her “boofy” hairstyle.

Working with her at the photography studio.

Sitting close to her.

I smiled. A lot. No tears.

My Mom had a completely different upbringing from me. The stories my aunts and uncles tell at family gatherings while laughing and slapping their knees in hilarity are actually not funny. They are stories of pain and trauma that they learned to laugh through. It was just how they grew up. My Mom was the type of woman who was always gentle and kind. Especially to children and families that had a need. Not because she thought she was a savior, but because she was one of them. She was always a friend and they would become an extended family member. She didn’t go around announcing what she did for others. But her children saw all of it. And guess what? If you pay attention, you will find this philanthropic trait of generosity throughout black communities.

phi·lan·thro·pist

/fəˈlanTHrəpəst/

noun

  1. a person who seeks to promote the welfare of others, especially by the generous donation of money to good causes.

When you hear the term “philanthropist”, you will probably think of huge financial donations being given to a cause by a wealthy family or individual. But when I hear the word, my focus is on the “generosity” rather than $$$$. There are many philanthropists, people who seek to promote welfare of others, in black communities. Some are black Americans who give generously financial gifts. But there are many others who with little money, also give generously.

Do you remember how Jesus evaluated the offerings at the temple? He did not commend those who gave large sums. Instead, the woman who gave the “least” was said to have given the most:

And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury,2 and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites.[a] 3 So He said,“Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all; 4 for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings [b]for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had.” Luke 21:1-4

I have seen the same generous spirit exhibited in:

  • Families who voluntarily, with no additional financial support take in kids who face abuse or poverty.
  • Men who invest their time and mentor-ship into community youth who need leadership and guidance.
  • Educated professionals who shun high paying careers and prestige to give their gifts and talents back to their communities.
  • Single parents raising other people kids even though they themselves are struggling.
  • Individuals or families cooking massive amounts of food, just so that they can share with their neighbors.
  • Neighborhood “grannies” and “aunties” providing free/almost free childcare so that parents can work.
  • Folks who use their own meager paychecks to buy food for seniors in the community.
  • Small black churches collecting monies to provide college scholarships for youth

The “typical” Philanthropist, gives from their excess. Community philanthropists give from their hearts. They make great sacrifices of their own finances and comfort for the benefit others that they are not legally or otherwise responsible for. Generosity is not the quantity of what you or I give. It is the size of the sacrifice.

That’s how Jesus measured it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very much in favor of large financial donations to causes and organizations that fight poverty and enhance educational and health opportunities for black Americans. I also acknowledge that many Americans give. However, I think its important to highlight the generosity of “community philanthropy” in black communities. For two reasons:

  1. I’m really tired of hearing claims of “Black Americans”, “the blacks”, “you people”, and “they” being entitled or lazy. I reject these as characterizations of an entire group of people. Not because I’m offended, but because it is just false. Are there some black Americans for whom these characterizations would be accurate? Of course. The same could be said of folks of any race/ethnicity.
  2. There is much good happening in black communities and it needs to be highlighted and celebrated.

Please join me in celebrating the good!

Melanin, The Royals, and Us

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about this interview and its many confounding aspects. The one aspect that followed me around the kitchen, as I picked up behind my I’ll-take care-of-it-after-school-teen, was a statement made by Meghan Markle. She was responding to the interviewer’s (Oprah) questions regarding the reason the royal family decided to remove security and the royal title from her son:

“there were concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born…….”

When I first heard it, my eyes were as wide as Oprah’s as she followed up with additional questions. I was disappointed that a family that seemed to embrace a biracial, American, outsider and her mother would hold any reservations simply based on skin tone. I watched the wedding and was so encouraged by Prince Charles’s demeanor toward Doria Ragland. There was no hint of any distance or discomfort toward her. They even had a black Holy Ghost preacher perform the ceremony! Not to mention that amazing black choir and cellist. I thought, “Wow, this is a new day! For the family to approve all of this must mean that they are excited that inclusiveness could be the way forward for the monarchy. A way in which they could deliberately and intentionally lead the country and the world through their example.” These were not actually my exact thoughts, they are edited here for clarity in case anyone is literal or a stickler for exactness.

But really, can’t you hear “We are the World” playing in the background right now? I heard it, but then the record scratched and I’m back to:

“there were concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born”

OK, not so fast, brain of mine! How dare you spend another moment “tsking” the BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY when that same sentiment is RAMPANT in your own country. AND get this, this conversation happens rampantly in communities of color!

VH1 Image

These things right here, have happened and are currently happening in the United States:

  • Parents and grandparents of biracial kids rejoice that their kid didn’t get “the black side” ie, physical features, of the gene pool.
  • Grandmothers and mothers warn their offspring not to date someone because “they’re too dark”.
  • People of color picking/passing over darker qualified dating candidates in favor of lighter ones.
  • Lighter skin kids being coached to stay out of the sun or overly insecure about their skin tone darkening.
  • Darker skinned people of color experiencing discrimination in their own families and communities.

So what does this have to do with the royals? Keep reading, please. I’ll get to that.

Some offenders (of the above bullets) like to dismiss such white supremacist inspired non-sense as “preference” or the desire to see their kids have a life uncomplicated by blackness or otherness. But be sure, these “preferences” are what keep white supremacy alive and kicking. They have real-life implications and consequences. Many of us ascribe to the faulty logic of “whiter/lighter is better” whether ignorantly and or with full knowledge of its insidiousness. This logic has repercussions that benefit some and devastate others. The sad truth is that we all know that there is a societal disadvantage correlated with black features. The darker you are, the more inferior you are. Whether it be cultural, aesthetic, or intellectual, there is still a bias against blackness. There, I said it. This is why a “lovely”, “Christian”, white, woman once told me that she didn’t want her kids to marry a black person. She knew that life would be harder and that her grandchildren would not have the same benefits of having two white parents. You may now clutch them pearls again! She was bold enough to say that to me. Of course, she told me this as a “reformed” anti-miscengenationist (anti-miscengenationist : this is not a word, but it is a thing.) Supposedly she no longer held these views at the time. However, further observations of her actions, reactions, and behaviors later led me to conclude she was very much a racist.

Isn’t that right, MRS. SHELLIE AVEREE????

Just kidding, her name is not Shellie Averee, though the story is true. Sorry about that digression, but the story helps illustrate my point.

When it comes to race, we all have to do the deep work. Ask your white, black, brown, or yellow self this: “Assuming good intentions and a good match for my child, IF my child, were to marry someone with very dark skin and “black” features, would I”:

  1. Celebrate them?
  2. Be proud of them?
  3. Embrace their (in-laws) family?
  4. Be disappointed if my grandchildren turned out to be very dark or have clearly “black” features?
  5. Be concerned about these grand-kids receiving any unfair treatment because of what they look like?

If you answered anything other than an excited “YES!” for 1-3 or “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” for 4-5, then there is work to be done. And guess what? It is OK. There is not one human being who does not have biases. However, we are responsible for checking ourselves when those biases appear. Self-checks prevent us from harming others and from perpetuating or supporting the oppressive systems around us. And these systems exist across races, socioeconomic classes, geography, and every other demography.

Note: I am particularly focused on “dark” skin and “black” features because those are the characteristics addressed in the interview that is the catalyst for this post. But please, go further and insert other ethnic physical features in the blank and test yourself.

I guess the point is, no matter how “colorblind” people claim to be, melanin (or the lack thereof) impacts the tone and the melody of one’s trajectory. Skin color does not create this power, human pride does.

We do.

Us.

You and I.

We keep it going and we can stop it.

Everyone seems to be afraid of racism. Afraid to experience it, afraid to perpetrate it, afraid to be accused of it. Interestingly, few want to take the risk to stop it . Why? Because there is a cost to do so. Cost? Yes, there is the sacrifice of potential advantages, at least until skin color no longer holds any advantage or disadvantage. For anyone. This could take a whole life time. For many, this is not an easy “Yes”.

To be sure, if you, as an individual speak out on race, or stand up against racial inequities you will be disadvantaged in some way. If you insist on racial equality, people will seek to silence you. The silencing strategy might be blatant and direct such as the use of fear, terror, or violence. Conversely, the approach could be subtle and manipulative: gas-lighting, feigned ignorance, blame-shifting (“No, you’re racist”), withholding of benefits. This latter silencing tactic is the most powerful and most frequently employed. Subtle manipulation is easier to deploy, harder to prove, and has the most significant impact. Plus, people don’t really feel that badly about it, as conscience disappears beneath the cloak of “comfort”. Let’s hear it for the skillful manipulators out there! Woot. That is not a real cheer, because that behavior is not cool. I do not condone it.

So, in conclusion, as uncomfortable as it may be, this issue is not going anywhere until we become intentional about dislodging it from the fabric of our society, our communities, our homes, and our own hearts. The silencers will keep trying to make this go away, with Dave Copperfieldesque illusions. But we will all know that it is still there. Refuse to be manipulated into accepting the impossible.

Here is my takeaway: The thing that we are afraid of is the thing that we continue to support but also the thing we have the power to eliminate. Imagine being afraid of the dark, yet so paralyzed with fear that you refuse to get up and find the light switch. This is the kind of fear that what we must overcome.

Today’s OUCH!!! scripture comes from Matthew 7:3-5. Plenty of prayers can be prayed from this posture:

3And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye, 5 Hypocrite! First, remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

That’s all for now. Love you.

Why Did I Name This Blog blackandwhiteandshadesofgreen?

BAWASOG. That’s the acronym I use for my blog drafts. Even it is too long.

I’m the person who writes poems that don’t rhyme. I tell “jokes” with no punchline. I tell stories with no point. I wear clothes that don’t match. I take 10 pics of the same pose and keep them all. Why? That’s just me. I enjoy the moment and I like to share moments. I’m not good at branding because, at my very core, I really don’t care how you see me. Or maybe too dull to understand why I should. All of these are the reasons that I shun trends and almost anything that is popular. I look for a deeper level explanation in everything. As a consequence, I tend to overthink and over-complicate things that could be made more simple. My thoughts get all bunched together and then, are expressed in nonsensical patterns. Please forgive me and tolerate my humanity if it is not too much trouble. All of this partly explains why chose to name my blog blackandwhiteandshadesofgreen.

So, unless you are a marketing professional, the real question is probably: “What does it actually mean?” Here is my best attempt to explain. 

‘blackandwhite’

Because I have this passion around the topic of “race”, the words “black and white” just seemed obvious. Most of us like to pretend that we have no biases and that we’re colorblind. If we are honest, we’ll admit that many of our conversations with our closest friends, behind closed doors, will include a description of a person’s “race” or ethnic features/background when describing our life experiences.

For some, “race” is black or white. It is defined. It is a label. It is an identity. It is even a distinct personality. For others, it is just a concept. A conflict. A complicated life-long story. To me, the concept of “race” is like a picket fence. A picket fence is both nothing and something at the same time. A picket fence can’t protect a house from intruders. It’s not a retaining wall or a fortress wall – which both actually do real work. A picket fence can’t read, write or dance. It does not function in any way except to create a physical representation of a boundary. Outsiders make their assumptions about what is inside of it. Insiders decide what it means to them and how they expect others to interact with it. The insiders and outsiders each make plans, take actions, and execute judgments based on how they choose to interact with the other side of something that really is nothing…..except for one thing. The acknowledgment or dismissal of the picket fence has real consequences or impact. You can’t make too much of a picket fence, but you can also get into or cause big trouble if you ignore or disrespect it.

Maybe I should have named my blog: picketfence.com. Soooo much quicker to say and type. Are you feeling this analogy? No? This is the best I can do. Please, just go with it.

‘Shades of green’

Ten plus years ago we found an amazing property that we purchased as our family home. Previous owners had “gone bananas” with landscaping. We literally had at least 15 banana trees, numerous shrubs, plants, and flowers, growing and blooming from spring to fall. It was beautiful! Despite our limited horticultural skills, sad maintenance schedule, and attack kids who have practiced more than a few karate chops, sword swings, and crane kicks on our plant life, it is still amazingly beautiful. Our backyard has views of pine, maple, oak, birch, sweetgum, mimosa, and holly trees. There are also many other flowers, plants, and shrubs. We have a pond with lily pads, lotus flowers, and lots of beautiful green frogs in and around it. Finally, there is wonderful thick grass that grows so beautifully in the summer.

I’m not an artist and have no concept of the makings of beauty. But I do enjoy the beauty of nature. I inhale it as if it were created just for me. One morning while doing so, I was overwhelmed by the joy that came from looking out at a simple landscape. Why is our backyard so beautiful? Is it the various species of plants? Is it the slope of the yard? Is it the amazing outdoor kitchen, sparkling in-ground pool, with stone patio and cabana? Definitely no, as we have none. Then I saw it. It was all the different shades of green. From the grass to the trees and all in between, there was green! (Wow! That was totally a Dr. Seuss moment. I am so gifted!) I realized the diversity in God’s creation and how things could be so different, yet create such unity. The same, yet different, all beautiful in its own way. It is breathtaking when all the differences come together and just………………… are. As I thought about this blog, that picture came back to me.

Some of us have similar experiences, backgrounds, physical appearance (green), but we think very differently about them (shades). Conversely, some of us differ in all observable aspects of our identity but somehow manage to come to many of the same conclusions about this life. Experiences, perspectives, and how we choose to engage based on these add even more diversity to life. There are many stories to be told, many perspectives to be considered. It’s not a competition, it’s an experience in growth. The plants, trees, grasses, shrubs, and little green froggies in my backyard have this one thing in common: they are growing together. And so are we.

And there you have it: blackandwhiteandshadesofgreen. Although this jumbled-up explanation has not clarified anything, I did try. The blog is called: blackandwhiteandshadesofgreen. Accept it. Embrace it. Celebrate it. But you might want to skip trying to understand it.

Parenting Lesson from My Great, Great, Great-grandfather

But first you have to look at one of my babies………….

Interestingly, during Black History Month, I learned that my third great-grandfather helped his 15 year old escape slavery. The escape was successful and that 15 year old traveled from North Carolina to Rhode Island to establish a family line that is alive and well today! These exciting revelations have shifted my perspective as a parent.

Initially, I tried to imagine letting my 15 year old off into the night to independently pursue and secure his freedom from the institution of slavery. The thought of not knowing how he might fare or if he would survived, was unfathomable. Like, no matter how big of a lunch box and how many changes of underwear I send him off with, they could never sustain him through a complete fugitive operation. Lots of shudders……………………. at first. But then I was reminded: parenting is not an extended, expensive, exasperating unpaid babysitting assignment. My husband and I are called to train a child in the way that he should go.* We are pouring into him everything we have been given so that he can accomplish the purposes that God has designed him for.** If fifteen is not too young to step into destiny, then we had better make sure that we are not messing around with his training.

Prayer:

Lord, please help us to trust You, fully, with our childrens’ destiny. Give us the courage to grant the right amount of freedom, to raise accountability and standards, and to empower them to move in affirmation, wisdom and instruction. Faith in You has been the pillar that has sustained our family. It is also the greatest asset we can transfer to our children. Please help us to continue to contend earnestly for it.****

*Proverbs 22:6

**Deuteronomy 6:6-7

***Jude 3

The End of Black History Month

I am of the belief that one of the most damaging legacies of Black America is not owning our identity. Or maybe it is owning an identity that is not whole, accurate or  healthy. Perhaps it’s both and some other things I can’t quite articulate. But I do know that the damaging legacy is identity related.

Side note: Please don’t be turned off by the word “identity”. I hear lots of people confidently using the phrase “identity politics” in order to avoid or dismiss all conversations and matters of race. Ain’t nobody got time for dat. We can’t love our brother whom we see everyday if we refuse to see him and connect with him where he is. Part of connecting with someone involves connecting with who they are. So, the talk of identity is more than relevant in the public square and private table talk.

Does identity matter to our heavenly Father? Yes! How do I know? The Bible tells me so…..

Abram –> Abraham

Sarai –> Sarah

Jacob –> Israel

the Son of Pharoah’s daughter –> Moses

Simon –> Peter

Saul –> Paul

…et cetera, et cetera, et cetera….

God, Himself, pronounced these name changes as a declaration of calling, transformation, and identity. Even today, we accept deliberate acknowledgment or rejection of identities in favor of new ones. Married women take (or choose not to take) their husband’s last name. Artists deliberately choose not to be known by their given name. Individuals pepper their personal property and possessions with the insignia of their political party, fraternal organization, social causes or religious affiliations or lack thereof. Some display identity through the things they buy or wear. The truth is, we are all, identifying with something or someone all the time as an expression of who we believe ourselves to be.

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he….:

Identity is rooted in a person’s story, whatever that may be. Thus, it matters who writes and interprets the story. The power of a narrative can be inestimable. For centuries, the most prominent and influential stories of the black identity have come from people whose perspective of blackness is rooted in white supremacy. Let me just side step here for clarity….. Whenever one reads the words “white supremacy”, one must set aside the picture of the KKK costume. Not that the KKK and other extremists groups are not guided by white supremacists ideologies, but it becomes too superficilly convienient to absolve oneself by automatically defending that one is not a member of aforementioned organizaed groups. Again, please suspend the equation of white supremacy = costume or organized groups. Understand that white supremacy is far more pervasive than cringy outfits. White supremacy is a mindset; an underlying philosophical compass that points in the direction of whiteness as supreme at all times. Perspectives, routines, hobbies, beauty standards, norms, evaluations, assessments and so forth are all viewed through lenses made of “white is right ” prescription. All around the world these lenses are worn, promoted and even worshiped. This would be the perfect time for me to talk about toxic skin lightening creams sold in Asia and Africa, eye surgeries for Asians who desire a “western” look, or the disdain many have toward black natural hair styles. However, I think I have enough going on in one post for now. Feel free to research these topics on your own.

Back to identity………it is the reason for Black History Month and so many other “Black” projects, organizations, associations and businesses that black people choose to initiate or participate in. Black folks seem to be in an ongoing struggle to possess or own the rights to our identity (think copyright concept). It is disappointing that many white Christians find such self-determining efforts unnecessary, offensive or un-American. Black Americans are now fortunate to have the freedom and agency to do the things that we know help to build our community. And, if we don’t do it, who is going to? Until recently, many black Americans have lacked the information and resources to know, let alone own our story beyond the previous generation. The emergence of Ancestry.com, the digitization of federal, state and local government documents, and social media have elevated black genealogy and the black story to a place where knowing and owning our story are tangible to the masses. More than ever, stories are being told, histories are being discovered and truths are being shared, widely, in the voice of “ black”. It makes a difference and I think you should support it. I get that, for some, there is a real sense of fear that the world is turning into something very unfamiliar. The natural impulse is to fight, resist or try to ignore. But when you do that, please understand that you are fighting, resisting and ignoring your brothers and sisters in Christ, whom for generations have pleaded with you in love for a Christ-like response. Praise God for and a shout out to those of you who continue to respond accordingly.

By the way, I have never heard anyone complain that March 15th or the month of March are celebrated in the United States. March 15th honors an awesome man of God who’s ministry was not in our country. How is celebrating Christianity in Ireland, American? But I digress. This example is only for illustrative purposes as I am not opposed to celebrating St. Patrick’s day. I love wishing my friends of Irish heritage “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” because I know the joy that come from public recognition of one’s culture. I encourage all of us to joyously celebrate the heritage and cultures of Americans who identify as people of color. Who’s with me? For your reference:

February – Black History Month

May – Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month

September 15 – October 15 – National Hispanic Heritage Month

November – National Native American Heritage Month

When we get to the point where we are able to acknowledge our full American history and inclusively celebrate the triumphs and equality of all peoples, then Black History Month as well as all “heritage celebration months” will no longer serve a purpose. Not sure that we’ll get there on this side of eternity. Nonetheless, the body of Christ should be FIRST in demonstrating, in the most elaborate ways, love, appreciation and celebration of each other

every

day

of

every

year

until we meet in our eternal home.

John 13:35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Things We Do

I grew up in a small town in eastern North Carolina on the outskirts of of a tiny town (SHOUT OUT TO THE 252!!!!). Racial lines were pretty clearly defined. The way this basically played out is that there was language to define things that black people or white people “do”. If you did “X” set of activities that were nebulously classified as something that white people would typically do, then you were doing something “white”. Conversly, if one engaged in “black” activities, then they were doing something something “black”. This also applied to philosophies, skills, intellectual and artistic gifts and interests. CRINGE. CRINGE. CRINGE.

Digression: Here is a recent, relevant short conversation with my 13 year old out of nowhere he walks into my room as says:

13 year old: “Mom, have you ever thought about something you did in the past and it made you cringe?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely!”

13 year old: “That means you’ve grown. That’s a good thing.”

Then he gave me a thumbs up, a fake smile and walked out of the room. I was so proud of myself for passing his test. I was also proud of him for being so amazing. He was 100% right. OK, where was I?

Oh yeah, CRINGE. But I have made peace with the fact that I saw the world in this way because you know what? That was the environment I lived in and as they say, “when you know better, you do better”. Sadly, there are many who continue to exist in a very real evironment that operates this way; with real implications and consequences. I learned, after transitioning into adulthood outside of my hometown that moving to a place where such confines no longer exist can have zero bearing on one’s continued operation in such a paradigm. The paradigm persists without an awakening of the subject to the new environment and deliberate efforts to shed old mentalities. What can complicate things is the fact that issues of race can become tricky when the geographical or demographical environment changes racial boundaries and other dynamics.

Ten years ago there was a blog called “Stuff White People Like”. For the most part, I thought it was hilarious. It was written, somewhat tongue in cheek, by a white blogger a particular demographic. The blog was written to entertain by mockingly highlighting, in great detail, things that white people supposedly like. Disclaimer: I am not endorsing the blog, just telling you that is/was a thing.

All of that to say, I want to also use this blog to share pictures of us doing the things they do that don’t get a lot of visibility. Starting with pics of my own family. I’d love to build an expansive gallery of photos of folks just doing life. This is not an anti-white project.

Yes, I know, all people doing stuff matters, right?

I agree. But my goal is to help broaden the pulbic lens of black life. A big part of this is that we all get to see that we have more in common than we might think. Understanding and embracing this, I believe, gets us closer to compassion and meaningfull actions toward racial equality.

Please enjoy!

Live Your Best Life (or something like that)

These pictures were all taken in the same place, by the same photographer. Not only are they beautiful landscape images (says the photographer), but they share wisdom. The key to living your best life hinges on how we discipline ourselves in these these three ingredients:

  • how we invest our time and efforts
  • the patience to wait for the good things
  • a hopeful perspective

Actually the “key” to living your best life can not be reduced to three ingredients. In fact, there is no one “key”. Note to reader: Never believe anyone who dares simplify the complexity of life into three points or even 50. Nonetheless, I hope that you will find some encouragement in my thoughts below based on the 3 “starter” ingredients mentioned above.

The first photo in the collage (pinkish sunrise), to me, is the most beautiful and inspiring of the four. Rising before sunrise is not a major accomplishment. However, when I am on vacation, it absolutely is. Choosing to put my efforts into getting up early enough to wait for nature to unfold is how I captured this beautiful display of God’s glory. The sky never looked like that again that day, but I got to see it “show off” just for me. The other photos show different times in the day with life in motion for humans and wildlife. There had been a tremendous thunderstorm the night before. Blinding lightning,house shaking thunders and torrential rains; it was a little scary. Fortunately, I was too tired to care as I went immediately from being fully awake to stage four sleep mid-thunder-boom. I was like Jesus sleeping in that boat in Mark 4:38-40. (ha, ha, ha, ha)! Despite all this weather drama, one could but scarcely detect the intensity of the preceding hours. The ferry was back on the sound filled with its operators and passengers and the ducks were on their way to “Duck IHOP” for breakfast. Did you know:

Lightning is a discharge of electricity. A single stroke of lightning can heat the air around it to 30,000°C (54,000°F)! This extreme heating causes the air to expand explosively fast. The expansion creates a shock wave that turns into a booming sound wave, known as thunder.* You probably knew that but I didn’t.

Notwithstanding, it too is the glory of God. So, when we put it all together, what do we get? Here is what I get: If we are in Him, we can see Him in our beautiful sunrises and views of the horizon as well as the rocky storms of life. There is a reason the Apostle Paul reminds us to rejoice in the Lord always. (Philippians 4:48)

A Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, please give us the humility to see and praise You when things are beautiful and the strength to see and praise You in the storms of life. We ask this, understanding that according to Mark 7:37, You do ALL things WELL.

*University Corporation for Atmospheric Research Center for Science Education

Black History Month: My Family

If there is one reason for me to consider myself wealthy, it is because of the family and community I was born into. I grew up in the Long Ridge community of Plymouth, located in eastern North Carolina. If you are taking 64 east on your way to the outer banks from Hwy 95, you will ride right through my hometown. I grew up around hard working black Americans who owned their homes and their farms. Some of them supported their families with the incomes from the local mill or textile factories. Others owned businesses, were school teachers, preachers or farmers. I didn’t grow up with able bodied people collecting government support. Everyone who could work, did. Or at least that is the way I remember. Our community loved and supported one another. To me, this is wealth.

A huge part of my wealth is my own family. When I look at my family tree, I see that my the lives of my forefathers were were spent providing for their families, serving the Lord and trying to hold on to their land.

My Grandfather: James McNair

Most times when I mention this man, my eyes get misty. His love for his family, cannot adequately be conveyed with my limited literary skills. His skin was so dark and leathery from the many hours he spent outside in the sun tending his farm. Work started at 7 AM and ended about 12 hours later. He was the father of 13 surviving children and didn’t have much patience for too much noise or disobedient children. He had a very deep voice that boomed when he corrected us. He always walked around with a tiny top-bound spiral notebook in his shirt pocket and a pen or pencil. On market day or any other day, he was ready to do math like a mathematician to ensure that his profits were not perched upon by the unscrupulous folks responsible for sorting, weighing and pricing his livestock or harvested crops. He took his pad and pencil to the bank when he checked his account. My grandfather used to tell me of the many black farmers who were cheated out of profits when they “went to market”. Though my grandfather was forced to drop out of school in 7th grade after the death of his young mother, he always stressed education to his children and grandchildren. “Education is one thing the white man can’t take away from you.” He had witnessed, first hand, black farmers unfairly denied loans while white farmers and landowners were being afforded advantages, information and resources. These same advantages, information and resources were deliberately withheld from black farmers and landowners. He knew well that others ceased on opportunities to defraud through trickery. He did not trust white men. At all. He cautioned me to embrace his truth. I think my grandfather understood that the same Word of God that commands us to love, also tells us not to put our trust in men. When it came to white men, he had seen more than enough to make keeping the latter, very easy. My grandfather believed very much in the teachings and leadership of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He made sure that his children attended Plymouth High School the first year of desegregation.

About 20 years ago, my grandfather told me the story of his grandfather (my great, great, grandfather) Anthony Walker. Before then, I had never questioned the origins of McNair Road.

My Great, Great, Grandfather: Anthony Walker (1850-1921)

At some point after slavery, Anthony went “up north” and worked for some years. He came back to Plymouth and purchased approximately 100 acres of land. He managed to hold on to his property until his death. My grandfather described a beautiful home and grape vineyard on the property.

In my imagination, this is what Anthony Walker’s property looked like. In reality, it did not.

When Anthony died, the land passed to his children but they were unable to maintain the property taxes and lost it. His son-in-law, (my great-grandfather, George McNair) was able to purchase the property from whites who had gotten the land after the property was lost. He began selling parcels of the land to his McNair relatives and the area became known as “McNair Town”. Today, there is a road that runs a mile long through the land: McNair Road.

My Great, Great, Great-grandfather: Prince Walker (1812 – 1899)

Imagine my excitement when I learned that Anthony’s father, Prince Walker, helped his 15 year old son, John Prince, escape from slavery! John Prince belonged to the master of a neighboring farm who was cruel. He was beaten many times for various offenses and began running away at age 13. Whenever he was caught, he was severely punished and beaten. On his last unsuccessful attempt, he was brought back to his dad’s (Prince) plantation. When Prince returned John Prince to the plantation that he “belonged” to, he warned them not to beat him or he would help him runaway. Eventually, there was another beating. When John Prince escaped to his father’s plantation, they carried out a plan that the Prince had been secretly working on. If you want to learn more about John Prince, go over to my cousin Taneya’s blog: https://taneyakoonce.com/category/walker/.

Brief interruption from the new millennium: I’m trying to imagine my 15 year old leaving our family and traveling far away to begin a life without the rest of us. My brain just won’t do the math on this one……so many more thoughts on this.

There was one other thing that I learned: Prince Walker was the overseer of a large plantation in Plymouth. He also seemed to be respected by whites as his obituary appeared in the local paper with a commendation regarding his character. The characterization is not at flattering by today’s standards. Did you hear what I just wrote?

My great, great, great-grandfather was an overseer.

For a moment I thought I had to make a judgment about what kind of person Prince Walker had to have been based on the two pieces of information I had about him. And honestly, I had a brief identity crisis. Should I hate myself? Should I be ashamed of him? Should I be ashamed to have descended from someone that had been “promoted” to execute the the system of oppression? Should I tell my family? Do I call a special family meeting to share this shocking/odd/sad/interesting/true news? So many questions….but, they didn’t last long. My next question was, how do I interpret this information and what shall I do with it. I’ve just learned two pieces of information about an ancestor that at first seemed contradictor. Is he a sellout black plantation overseer or a heroic father who plotted and successfully executed a slave escape? He could be both. He could be neither. After sitting with this information for a few days, I came to this conclusion: My great, great, great-grandfather ‘s story is the story of many black Americans who have had to simultaneously lived within the system and at the same time subvert it in order to survive and to ensure that others are able to do the same. Besides, without him, there would be no me. There would not be any of his amazing descendants who have made their mark of significance in this world.

There is no shame in acknowledging our history. If there is, it is okay to sit with it and deal with it. We cannot heal from something we refuse to deal with. Once we heal, we must allow a transformation to occur so that we make it our business to strive for the greatness our collective present and future deserve.

Please visit Taneya Koonce’s blog to learn more about her genealogical discoveries. Everything I learned about Prince and John Walker came from her research. She also has a Facebook Community where she shares “strategies for saving and organizing your research, photos, and stories”. She is an amazing gift to our family and I am so blessed to have encountered her work. Thank you Taneya!

Teneya’s Blog: https://taneyakoonce.com/

Taneya’s Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/academy.legacy.leaders/about

Black History Month – Why???

Most of what we are able to accomplish has to do with what we believe to be true about ourselves. Some discount or underestimate the power of “identity” when they have never known the struggle of attaining one that empowers. Although there are those who oppose, disdain and even despise the idea of “Black History Month” (BHM), I will continue to embrace it and celebrate it. I will do so because I understand the power of identity.

History is amazing. And it is powerful. History shapes identity in a powerful way. That’s why it matters who’s telling the story. This is why I will always be excited about BHM. For one month, we are reminded that our identity is greater than the trans-Atlantic slave trade, greater than slavery, Jim-crow and systemic injustice. We acknowledge these realities as we celebrate history from a lens that reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We assert, with our Black/Brown skin: we are made in His image. We assert that great things happen through us, for us and to us.

For everyone who asks the question “Why do we have to have a whole month for Black History?” I challenge you to ask: “Why does it bother me that we get to celebrate the accomplishments of my fellow Americans who have overcome sometimes impossible odds and opposition to stand with dignity alongside of every other American?” Why not take this time to learn? Why not find a Black historical figure that you would most want to be like or that you most identify with? There are so many to choose from. Unfortunately, you might not know about them because you would not have learned about them in your American history class.

This is not an indictment, it is an invitation.

Welcome to Black History Month!

Racism: Let’s Stir Up and Dismantle!

Our President has just signed four executive orders on racial equity. AWESOME. Many are celebrating and I’m sure that many others are complaining or even fuming. Quite honestly, this is not the time for either.

Having the right policies and creating the legal infrastructure to promote racial equity is great. It is a necessary piece to the solution that many of us seek. But, it is not THE solution. We each have a role to play in achieving a greater society. Looking to the government or to someone else to “make things better” is futile. Things don’t just get better, we, the people, have to make them better. You believe in racial equity? Then pass it on. Spread it. Share it with your family members, your friends and colleagues. Let us encourage, persuade, or even challenge them to show love and to do good towards people of color.

Racism and attitudes of white supremacy live because they have a nice warm home in which to take shelter. A home that is nice, dry and warm. It has plenty of groceries and amenities for a long comfortable stay. It is my job and yours to actively DISMANTLE that shelter. Not just with our ideas or thoughts, but with action. When family members make racially derogatory comments in front of us and they go unchecked, we participate in making that house a little more comfortable. When our colleagues or associates make derogatory or ignorant comments about someone, solely based on their ethnicity or “race” and we laugh (or are silent), we participate in making that house a little more comfortable. When business owners or hiring staff automatically dismiss or make negative judgments about an applicant solely based on racial/ethnic attributes and we say nothing, we participate……you know the rest.

Amongst the many obligations of agape love, You and I have a God-given obligation toward justice. Justice, too, is an attribute of our heavenly Father. We cannot ignore this just because it is uncomfortable or hard. Newsflash: Followers of Christ do uncomfortable and hard things. It’s called taking up our cross. Taking up our cross happens every time we choose to deny ourselves to follow Him. You can do this (all things through Christ).

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works…

12 Actions YOU Can Take to Help Address Causes and Consequences of Racial Inequity

The Rich Young Ruler and YOU

As the days have turned into months and seasons have passed since the protests and conversations around race have taken center stage in our country, there has been much to take in. I have been both encouraged and disappointed by the reactions, actions, inaction and opposition of my white brothers and sisters in Christ. In some cases I have been completely disgusted and angry. But, I have learned that there are times when change is so painfully incremental that the process will just burn you out and make you bitter. Better to go somewhere where life is welcomed rather than stay with those who are willing to fight you to the death for the status quo. To help dissipate my disgust and anger I have to remind myself that these folks are not my audience, but they are on my prayer list. I, by nature, am a champion of change. So, for those of you whose hearts have been shaken, gripped and held captive by a desire to love people of color with a Christ-driven passion, I am excited to take the journey with you.

One of my very respected and beloved friends recently shared a perspective with me that has humbled me. Here is this gist:

The body, the location, the culture that we were born into was ordained by God for a specific purpose. For those born into privilege, it is not for selfish comfort. It is to use that privilege to help others in God-honoring ways.

This is a message that my friend has been speaking to her white Christian friends and acquaintances over the last few months. Many of whom have met her with shunning and disgust. Did I mention these are brothers and sisters in Christ?

Guess what: Matthew 19:16-22. My friend’s message is a version of what Jesus said to the rich, young, ruler (RYR) when He asked him to sell all he had and give to the poor and then follow Jesus. Jesus didn’t tell everyone to do that. But he does tell us to lay down all we have to follow Him. We lay it down for Him to use in the way that He has planned.

Whenever I read this passage, there is always a hope in my heart for that RYR who walked away sadly. I imagine that over the next few days, months or even years, he wrestles with this challenge until he eventually comes back to Jesus, ready to do whatever is asked of him. The happy ending is that he becomes one of Christ most loyal followers…………….. who knows? I don’t. But I do know that our riches and our comfort have a lot to do with how little we do for God and those He wants to send us to.

In case you have been wrestling with the thought, the compassionate burdening question of “How can I do more” as it relates to racial inequities in our country, I have some ideas. These ideas come from an understanding that many of the racial inequalities we see have very real and tangible impact with poverty and disadvantage as the end result. It’s hard to separate race and economic disadvantage. Technically, they can be teased apart, but for the purpose I am writing today, I will not do that. There are plenty of books and papers out there that you can access on

Many of you who have done lots of soul seeking regarding race have emerged with a new desire to be part of the healing. Below are some action items you might prayerfully consider. Before you read that list, read this “Caution list”:

Caution:

  • These action items are RYR level. They are EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE, INCONVENIENT, AND MAY BE SEEN AS LUDICRIOUS. THEY ARE HIGHLY SACRIFICIAL AND HUMBLING. But they can be extremely powerful with far-reaching results.
  • Prayerfully consider this list. Sometimes we are so eager to do something, that we end up doing something crazy and cause more harm than good.
  • This list is not exhaustive. These are starter ideas.
  • You may not be in a position to do any of these. However, there are probably a thousand more things that are just as RYR level that you can take on.
  • You are not a Savior. You are a servant. You are a sister or a brother to a person of color in this human experience. You are not above anyone you serve. You are the foot washer. If you remember this, your service will have great power.

Twelve RYR level actions you can take to be part of the solution:

  1. Invest in communities of color: When you get your next big promotion, rather than moving out of your current big house and into a more expensive property, buy investment property in a low income neighborhood. Rent it out and provide safe, affordable housing. Find a property manager or a management company that employs or is owned by people of color. Or, build an affordable home and sell it.
  2. Be an amazing landlord. If you own rental real estate in an area populated with people of color, make sure that your properties are in good order. How can kids do well in school if your properties have mold, poor heating or pests? Pay attention to your tenants and do not allow active criminals to inhabit your property. Everyone deserves to live in a safe neighborhood.
  3. Engage in intentional hiring practices. Review your company’s or your personal hiring record. Identify the percentage of hires of people of color. This one is tricky because people are quick to say that they have not encountered qualified people of color. One thing to recognize is that job openings are usually communicated to people who are in the same circles of the people that are currently employed by you. Reach out to people of color in your network to share job openings with and be very clear about qualifications. Trust me they will know some very highly qualified people of color who would be a great fit. If you don’t have people of color in your network, skip to number 7. IMMEDIATELY.
  4. Shift your paradigms. Revisit the concept of fit in the professional environment. Many times in the hiring process we look for people that we easily feel comfortable with. Unfortunately most times those people tend to share our same characteristics. Think about the person’s qualifications, and what their experiences and unique perspectives will bring to your team. People with different cultural or ethnic backgrounds can make an amazing fit for your team. And they don’t have to act like you (same mannerisms, colloquialisms, vernacular, and so forth) in order to do so.
  5. Intentional placement. Place yourself in diverse environments. When purchasing your next primary residence, actively look in areas that are racially diverse. Or connect with churches of color, online Bible studies, prayer teams and, small groups where you are the minority. When you get to know people as people, you learn that differences can be appreciated, embraced, and celebrated as opposed to being an automatic divider.
  6. Evaluate your inner circle. When is the last time you had a real relationship with a person of color? Can you visit each other’s homes? Do you know each other‘s families? Have you done anything outside of your comfort zone inside of their comfort zone? Vice versa? Go out and seek to build connections with those who are different from you and embrace them as a brother or sister (not as a project).
  7. Check your arrogance at the door. Be aware of the Savior mentality and avoid it. The only way to do this is to look at a fellow human being as a brother or sister that you are eager to do life with. Your privileges or skin tone do not make you a greater human being than any other person.
  8. Intentional relationships; output. Seek out people of color to mentor or partner with. Whether at work or in your community.
  9. Intentional relationship: input. Seek out people of color that can mentor you. If you think you can’t learn anything from a person of color, then just go to your prayer closet. Please don’t come out anytime soon. Don’t die in there. Just stay in there until that arrogant, supremacist spirit of pride dies.
  10. Listen to learn. Listen to the experiences of people of color and accept that you don’t get to articulate the narrative of American life for them. That would be you operating with a white supremacist mind set. I don’t think you want that.
  11. Use your gifts. If you are an amazing teacher, use your gift in a school with a high “minority” populations.
  12. Financial support. Set aside regular giving to organizations (small or large) that are having an impact in communities of color. Create relationships with businesses led by people of color. Promote and support them!

Please prayerfully consider Jesus’ conversation with the RYR:

Matthew 19:16-22
16 Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good[a] Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?”17 So He said to him, [b]“Why do you call Me good? [c]No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.” 18 He said to Him, “Which ones?”Jesus said, “‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ 19 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”20 The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept [d]from my youth. What do I still lack?”21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

Happy Inauguration Day!

I’d like to issue a challenge that I’ll call “ The Anti-hypocrisy Challenge”.

To everyone of my friends: supporters of the former president, supporters of our new president, those in between, those on the outside: I want to issue this challenge to all of us:

If you were willing to extend grace, encouragement and prayers, while overlooking the glaring flaws of our former president, the challenge is to please continue to do the same for our new president. If you were keen on fact checking, criticisms, accountability and calling out hypocrisy in our former president, the challenge is to please continue doing so for our new president. That is what we call having character and integrity.

No government is perfect. Checks and balances in this American Republic exist for very good and necessary reasons. But be sure, how we handle our challenges, disappointments and triumphs tells the story of who we really are. We must stop expecting from others, what we, ourselves, are not willing to give.

It is is clear that we still have some tough and challenging days ahead. Let’s all be intentional in doing our part to faces our challenges with character and integrity.

Black Men, White Christians and The Great Commission

Ernest Withers' iconic photo of men at a march is reflected in this colorful contemporary mural in Downtown Memphis by the artist Marcellous Lovelace.
Ernest Withers’ iconic photo of men at a march is reflected in this colorful contemporary mural in Downtown Memphis by the artist Marcellous Lovelace.

Note: Please bear with me as the focus of this post is black men. Not black women, black children or the black community. There is a particular reason for this focus. I will discuss it in a different post.

Do you know that there are some black men who reject Christ because of white supremacy? Do you know that there are some black men who refuse to follow Christ because they truly believe that Christianity is a white man’s religion? They have seen white Christians use the Bible and “Christianity” to oppress others (from slavery to present day). Christianity is rife with comfortable white people who refuse to acknowledge that racial inequalities are real. It is full of comfortable Christians who refuse to stand up for the poor because that action might result in less comfort. Black men see white Christians gerrymandering or restricting the black vote so that the they can continue to ignore poor people of color in favor of supporting those who are already advantaged. These black men have seen and read about white Christians who go to Africa and then rape the land and the people in the name of Christianity (back then and still today). And of course they watch, unmoved and unsurprised, as white Christians have no compassion or desire to speak up for unarmed black men who are killed by law enforcement officers and ordinary citizens. When you are black in America, Christianity can look very suspicious, uninviting and in some cases, like a joke. Even more so when your oppressors claim it as their own and as sanction for their evils.

Check out my verbal cartoon. I can’t draw, so you’re going to have to use your imagination………

Cartoon #1:

Black man: “So let me get this straight. You want to save this soul of mine that you cannot see. Then send it to a heaven that you do not know. But you’re OK with watching the me that you see and know live in hell on earth?”
White Christian: “Pretty much.”

Black man: “No thank you”

White Christian: “You Godless, black. I tried to save you!”

Enter: Islam, Nation of Islam, Black Hebrew Israelites…..

Black man: “Finally, a god who loves black the man.”

Cartoon #2:

Black man: “Black Lives Matter!”

White Christian: “Actually, the lives of black unborn babies matter.”

Black man: “I’m not a baby”

White Christian: “Oh, well. Sorry……….”

This is what white Christianity looks like to many black men. I know this seems harsh, but you and I are siblings in Christ and I must keep it real with you. That is of course, if, we are serious about being salt and light and being fishers of men. Please believe that I am not pointing my finger at you. Unless this is actually you (though I wouldn’t know because I don’t know who is reading this). But, your conscience knows and the Holy Spirit knows. If this is you, please go and meet with the Lord and fix it.

The greatest evangelism Christians can do is to live a Christ-transformed life. This would include loving people who do not look like us nor have the same experiences as us. Why would you rather go to another country than go down the street to preach and live out the gospel? I’m not judging, I’m just asking a question. Why? Because there is a real opportunity for white Christians to make a huge gospel impact in the Black community and beyond and it is being missed. Many of these black men actually do believe in Jesus (in some way or another), but have a hard time reconciling that they should join a faith with the likes of extremist groups and ideologies that also associate strongly with Christianity (KKK, white nationalists, Christian nationalists, and so forth). Ultimately, every soul will stand before The Judge, Jesus Christ, for himself. Black men cannot blame white Christians for their rejection of Christ. Likewise, we will each be held accountable for our own actions and inaction. If Christians are on a mission to love like Jesus, why would we restrict that to our own comfort zones? The love of Christ is deep and wide, going far beyond our personal experiences and comfort. It takes us outside of our racial/ethnic cocoons. It will move us across the street, across the railroad tracks or to the “other” side of town to connect, truly connect, with someone who is different.

I have noticed that there are very few white Christians who are willing to engage in racial reconciliation work in environments where they are not the majority or the controlling authority. What are you really saying here? I’d like to know. But please hear what I am saying: the time for tokenism is out. The time for lip service is dead. The time for appearances is over. Either be about it or just go ahead and admit that racial reconciliation efforts are only of importance if they will promote your name, your ministry or your business. But let me be the one to remind you, that is how the world operates, not Christ followers. Let me also warn you; this country is changing. If you don’t allow the deep work of the Holy Spirit in your heart and mind in this area, you are going to have a very tough time navigating. AND you will be doing crazy stuff while thinking that it’s not crazy. The status quo is gone. You might not see it just yet, but it has passed away. Let us all purpose to be where God is, not where we thought He was or where we want Him to be.

Finally, there are some powerful black men out there that are ripe for the Kingdom of God and the Master’s use. Will they be closer or farther away from it after they encounter you?

1 Corinthians 9:19–23

The New King James Version

Serving All Men

19 For though I am bfree from all men, cI have made myself a servant to all, dthat I might win the more; 20 and eto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the 5law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 fto gthose who are without law, as without law h(not being without 6law toward God, but under 7law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 ito the weak I became 8as weak, that I might win the weak. jI have become all things to all men, kthat I might by all means save some. 23 Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

White Privilege: Time for a Working Definition

I know this phrase hits a NERVE. I’ve seen folks use their social media platforms to make videos and write long posts about how they’ve worked for everything they have or that there is no privilege in being white. I mean, this is America, right? Everyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and do exactly what you did the way that you did it, right?

You hold no advantages that I do not hold, right?

Let me just make this blunt. If a super attractive person tells an “average looking” person that there are no privileges attached to being incredibly good looking, would you agree? A tall handsome man has no advantage over a short average looking guy, right? If you agree with these statements, please stop reading here. Apparently you are not an earthling. Nothing I say in this post will make sense to you. Back to your cornfield maze, you extraterrestrial being.

No, really, stop reading. There is nothing for you here, ET.

OK, so really, what is white privilege? For our working definition of “White Privilege”, let’s turn to Merriam-Webster’s definition #2:

white

 adjective

\ ˈ(h)wīt  \

whiter; whitest

Definition of white

1a: free from color

b: of the color of new snow or milkspecifically : of the color white

c: light or pallid in colorwhite hairlips white with fear

d: lustrous pale gray : SILVERYalso : made of silver

2a: being a member of a group or race characterized by light pigmentation of the skin

b: of, relating to, characteristic of, or consisting of white people or their culture

c[from the former stereotypical association of good character with northern European descent] : marked by upright fairnessthat’s mighty white of you

To be clear, for the purposes of this post, we’re going to go with definition 2a and 2b.

privilege

 noun

priv·​i·​lege | \ ˈpriv-lij  , ˈpri-və- \

Definition of privilege noun

 (Entry 1 of 2)

: a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor : PREROGATIVE

especially : such a right or immunity attached specifically to a position or an office

So what do you get from those definitions when you put the two words together? White Privilege. I think many white people get bent out of frame because there is an automatic assumption that you are being accused of something when the phrase white privilege is invoked. That’s not what that term means. It simply means that your skin tone affords you benefits that other skin tones do not. And as silly as it may sound, it is truly a thing here in these great United States. Read the words again:

white privilege

These words don’t say that your skin tone makes you rich. They don’t say that you, white person, have never worked hard for everything you have. They don’t say that you or your family were slave owners or that you are the author racism. They don’t say that you’ve never had hard, tough or even traumatic personal experiences. The words simply say that whiteness comes with a peculiar benefit, immunity, advantage or favor.

True story:

A white acquaintance once told me that she “used to” be against interracial relationships (dating/marriage) because she believed that it would make life more difficult for her children and grandchildren. This 30 something, white, Christian evangelical very effectively articulated and affirmed the reality and power of white privilege (whether she meant to or not). Otherwise, what, about her white kid being married to an African-American, would make it hard for them or their kids?

Think about this……people don’t look at your skin tone alone and make judgments like this:

You are dangerous.

You are not qualified.

You are not smart.

You are not capable.

You have poor parenting skills.

You do not care about your family’s well being.

You can’t afford/didn’t earn the merit/not smart enough to be in this place.

You are likely a criminal.

You don’t want to work.

You want a handout.

You are not responsible.

You’re up to no good.

You don’t belong here.

You have low morals.

You don’t value education.

Something else to think about, many affluent African-Americans endure suspicions and investigations in their own neighborhoods, their own cars and in possession of their own stuff. Why? Because others see their “race” and assume that they shouldn’t be where they are. Another question for you to ponder: If my son walks down the street on a cool evening with his hoodie on and your son or grandson walks down the street on a cool evening with a hoodie on, which one of them is more likely to experience visible signs, from a greater number of people, of suspicion or feeling threaten by his presence as he passes by? This scenario actually invokes a discussion around “intersectionality”, but I will not talk about that today. You can Google or Youtube it.

So these examples are the level of privilege that the term “White Privilege” most adeptly encapsulates. The term can apply to many other examples of “white privilege” that I won’t touch in this post. It’s already long enough.

In short, white privilege allows white people the freedom to just be. Think of this: African-Americans know from day one that we are judged. Not because someone groomed us to think it but because we experience and make sense of it for ourselves. Many of us even take on the burden of “masking” in order to demonstrate the worthiness of our race through our individual actions and achievements. Code switching is a thing, for a reason. Very shameful, but nonetheless true.

Confession:

As I write, I am constantly in battle with my own conscience and thoughts about what is real and what is a narrative, cooked up by folks who need to stay intellectually relevant and their friends who are gaining power and money by perpetuating such narratives. I do believe that our “perspectives” must be analyzed as objectively as possible. However, my conclusion is always this: I cannot throw away truth and reality just because some other people might be using it perversely. Remember when Paul explained to the Philippians that people preach the Gospel with different motivations, but what does it matter? The point and the power is in the fact that The Gospel is being preached! I have found that the truth and facts are just that. They are partial to no man, they just are. Man will pick them up and use them as he will, sometimes with integrity and sometimes not. Either way, the truth remains what it is. When it comes to race and racial issues, too many Christians are discounting truths and fact because they don’t trust or like the messenger.

As you read this, please understand that African-Americans are survivors. We are strong. We are resilient and we don’t walk around looking for “Blacks Only” meetings to opine about why we are so persecuted. Instead, we overlook racist and belittling comments to focus on our goals. We maintain our professionalism as we watch mediocre peers receive praise with little to no scrutiny for unimpressive work. We protest, vote and get involved and still go to work the next day and hear nasty comments about rioters and looters rather than compassion for a human life. This is not new to us. Our parents did it. Their parents did it. Our many forefathers did it. We are a little bit sick of it. But we are not going to lay down and let un-insightful, arrogant, hypocritical, white people gaslight us and tell us that we are essentially big babies and drama queens for demanding equality in all things. And don’t worry, that last sentence is NOT ABOUT YOU. Unless of course, that is you.

In today’s society, there are many things that we can physically or socially change or modify about our person. The skin and ethnicity that I was born with is not really one of them and it should not be a “black mark” against me. No pun intended. Or maybe so.

Aren’t you privileged that you don’t have to worry about that.

What to pray for:

Let’s pray that the Father will open our eyes to see the realities of others and the hearts to be the transformed people who make the difference – not just in our personal choices but also in what we tolerate from others.

Learn to do good;

Seek justice,

Rebuke the oppressor;

Defend the fatherless,

Please for the widow

“Come now, let us reason together”, says the Lord…

Isaiah 1:17-18a

It’s Veteran’s Day!

This is a pic of my 19 year old in Vietnam. He is now a very proud Vietnam Veteran!

First and foremost, I want to honor all of you who have served our country through your military service. Thank you to the spouses and families who have also sacrificed because you believe in the purpose and mission of our armed forces. Finally, happy Veteran’s Day to my Dad, who proudly wears his Vietnam Veteran cap every chance he gets.


Secondly, I think it is important for everyone to be aware of issues of race and class as we navigate a Christlike compassion in understanding the concerns of those who experience the systems in our society that are rife with patterns and obstacles that make it impossible or unfairly difficult for people of color to experience the advantages and benefits that should be enjoyed by all. Check out this New York Times article about African-Americans and leadership in the military.

Is “Fighting Christian” an Oxymoron?

For sure we are to fight the good fight of faith. But when it comes to other disputes, watch out! This is a follow-up to my previous post. Before fist fights in the parking lot, there was Euodia and Syntche (Philippians 2:2-3)

Here is the story:

  • Euodia was a godly woman who served the Lord faithfully with Paul and was a pillar in the local congregation.
  • Syntche was a godly woman who served the Lord faithfully with Paul and was a pillar in the local congregation.
  • They got mad at each other about something and could not move beyond their disagreement.
  • The disagreement or the impact of their lack of unity was so severe that Paul had to call them out publicly and ask for an intervention to get them on the same page.

What was the issue? I don’t know, maybe Euodia said “Black Lives Matter” and Syntche said “All Lives Matter”. Maybe Syntche said “Defund the Police” and Euodia responded with “Back the Blue”…………I don’t know. But I do know that we present day Christians are allowing our fiercely held beliefs to come ahead of unity in Christ. While we are doing this, we are hindering the gospel.

John 13:35, NKJV: “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Now before you ask, “What kind of real Christian could say “Black Lives Matter?” or “What kind of real Christian would refuse to say “Black Lives Matter?” I’ll give you a hint; a person who has agreed that Jesus Christ is their Savior and Lord. Again, people don’t have to agree with YOU in order to be a true Christian.

Please notice that Paul didn’t ask, “Who started it?” “Who’s on the right side of history?” “Whose opinion is uninformed?” “Who is the most worthy?” “Who’s more righteous, intellectual, or the most victimized?”

Nope, none of that. He simply says, “agree in the Lord”. In other words, none of these things matter ahead of unity in the Lord. So just fix it.

Y’all, this is real Christ following stuff right here. For the most part, it is not about what someone did or said to us. It is all about our response and the position of our hearts. Think about it, each one of us has to give an account for our own actions/deed not the deeds of others (Matthew 12:36-37). It’s “funny” how we can love Jesus until He says something that we don’t like. How is it that everyone is a “Christian”, until it’s time to actually pick up one’s cross and follow Him?

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. Luke 9:23.

And then they said to Him: “No thank you, Jesus. I’m going to be handling things my way today. No cross for me!”

No, they didn’t say that last line. But unfortunately, we do.

True Story

This week, I am having to “gather myself” because I am ready to go in on some Christian brothers and sisters who insist on upholding white supremacy as normalcy. My blood is also boiling at the donkeys and elephants who insist on ignoring issues of righteousness in order to promote their political preferences/agendas and so forth. I want to call people out for their hypocrisy but guess what? Jesus it the righteous judge, not me. AND, I’m busy trying to tend to my own beam issues (Matthew 7:3-5). The same judgment I try to put on someone else, will come right back to me. So if you don’t hear too much from me, don’t worry, just know, that I’m doing a personal beam assessment.

With that being said, I beggeth thee to join me in putting down self-righteousness and pride and focusing on being of the same mind in the Lord (Philippians 4:2). When we start with Him at the center, we can work from there to understand and strive for harmony with each other. Let me just solve this math problem for you,

1 person +1 person = 2 opinions

Sometimes those 2 opinions will be congruent, other times they will conflict with each other. Conflicts and offenses WILL COME. That is this human life. BUT, how we handle that conflict is what tells the real story. Let’s resist that prideful spirit that will drive us to believe that our personal beliefs are more important than the relationships we have the opportunity to build or keep. I know it’s a tall order, but we can do all things through Christ, right? Or does that scripture only apply to the things we want to do? I think you know the answer to that one. No hints needed.

For the rest of this week:

May we be bold enough, humble enough and wise enough this week to ask the Holy Spirit for help! Ask for help to love and strive for harmony with those in the body of Christ that we strongly disagree with. We have a greater work to do and we must not be derailed.

Philippians 2:2-3

I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntche to be of the same mind in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Three Easy Steps to Fist Fighting in the Church Parking Lot

As you are well aware, there is a lot going on right now in these here United States. Where shall I begin? I’m just going to jump right in and share what is in my heart with you.

When I was a young lass (haha), it used to puzzle me when I saw Christians who passionately loved and served God, disagree fiercely with one another. Especially when the disagreement devolved into camps, campaigning, gossip or just plan nastiness. Church board against the pastor. Pastor against the deacon. Sister Singtooloud against Sister Hushyomouth. I would wonder, “how can you love God and be so nasty to your brother/sister in Christ”? In the age of YouTube, I’m sure you’ve seen those videos of deacons and the like fighting in the church parking lot. They are both sadness and hilarity all wrapped up together like a pig in a blanket.

Well, I’ve come to find out that understanding the concept of “being a sinner saved by grace” answers a lot of questions about Christians and their behavior. It’s interesting (and scary) how quickly we can walk outside of the love of God while following our pride. There is a reason why Jude told us to keep ourselves in the love of God…..

As we walk in the love of Christ, we are frequently faced with questions around righteous. What is good in God’s sight? What is holy? What is godly? We quickly deduce our dilemmas to “right vs wrong” and then (hopefully) choose the one that is “right”. We tend to immediately move on to judging that which is “wrong” and deeming it ungodly, unholy, and in some cases, downright devilish or demonic. Unfortunately, we all too often travel this path in our conclusions about others. It really stinks when we do this with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Here is one way it typically plays out in THREE, YES! THREE EASY STEPS!

  1. We arrive at an opinion that we thoughtfully and maybe prayerfully conclude to be “right”.
  2. We automatically demonize everyone whose opinion does not match ours.
  3. We join camps with and sanctify those who agree with us.

Let me back up and be clear. This pattern is not a consequence of Christianity but a consequence of our modern day culture. Our lack of tolerance, independent thinking and sound reasoning frequently pits us savagely against our neighbor. This is a tragedy that we must guard against. Please hear me: I can disagree with YOU and still be in right standing with God. I can disagree with YOUR convictions and still be in right standing with God. This (life, existence, righteousness) is not about you and your crew. Nor is it about me and mine.

Before fist fights started breaking out in church parking lots, there was Euodia and Syntche (Philippians 2:2-3). See my next post for more!